Forgotten Relms

Thoughts are torturous for me, little things that chase one another round and round and round. My mind aches with their constant action, seldom do they let me be, let my soul settle to a point of peaceful relaxation. I bury myself in pointless games, trivial activities to escape, to flee my own thoughts…those blasted nagging notions that chase sleep into a sweet memory. These thoughts take many forms; questions and answers, questions to questions, worries, obsessions. They have a life of their own that I cannot hope to control, to throttle back for a little peace. My mind is always racing…forever racing forwards, seldom pausing to allow me a moment to breathe, to catch up. A rare moment passes now, that perfect moment between the disordered chaos of thoughts chasing questions chasing worries and the quiet stillness of crystalline sleep so easily fractured. A moment when I can reflect on the chaos, examine the stillness, come to terms with the bustle of my thoughts and the stark quiet of sleep. From such precious few moments, entire worlds reveal themselves at a pace far too rapid to scribe. Destinies, stories, people, places, history, love, loss, conflict, strife, heroic villains, villainous heroes; it plays out in a theater of the mind, all within the quiet fragility between resting and running. A multitude of lives pass by, friendships, rivalries and yet even as my mind swells with stories and tales of worlds far and strange, the void of rest consumes them all…doomed and forgotten before a single story was told. I lament my lack of fortitude, the inability to grasp a pencil and sketch the words requires to outline such brilliant constellations. Yet as I fall into the dark abyss of sleep each night, the same legends unfold, time and time again. Perhaps if I focus, struggle against the slothfulness that lays claim to my limbs, I might be able to just this once, remember. Just remember.

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